Faith over fear

The sun rises everyday starting a new chapter in everyone's life!

 

It has finally been a week since I joined my dream course, and started attending classes, and it's been a hell of an experience until now.

After waiting and hustling for a long time, I finally was able to start this journey of being a medico. In the beginning it was an emotional roller coaster, everything was going to be different now, even though I was mentally prepared for this from aa long time, there still were a few doubt in my mind, and these just faded away when I, moved into my hostel, and started meeting, vibing with people. Here's my experience, please do read ahead to understand the connection between this blog's title and content :)

There was nothing major on the first sday, it was only moving in, saying goodbyes and also greeting new people with whom I'll be spending the next 5.5 years, and these are the people who are going to be part of a major phase of my life.

So on the first day, I first met my roommates, then set things in, and finally said goodbye to my parents, after having lunch my friend and I decided to go around our college campus, post all that I ended up meeting my batch mates, became friends, shared a few nice moments.

The next day was supposed to be the first day of the foundation course, we were expected to wear formals, and be neatly dressed, I ended up waking up at 6am, freshened up, went down to see the beautiful morning sky. 

I had mixed reactions towards the classes, a few were fun, but a few made me kinda doze off. The lecture hall was indeed big, and there were a lot of people, but we hardly spoke to anyone else except for our friends, and this kinda made me question if it's gonna be like this for the rest of the year, and was I actually in the wrong place. The classes were over, my friends and I again went around the campus, had a great time. Finally the day came to an end, but there was a slight feeling of getting home sick, with which I went to bed.

We are always asked to trust the timing of our life, even though the future lies in our hands, we can't decide how it's gonna be always, and how everything's going to turn out.

The third day actually made me have faith in the proverb, I can clearly say that it was one of the best days I've experienced in the past few weeks. This day was filled with uncontrollable laughter, happiness, and a feeling of satisfaction. Finally I met and spoke to more people, got to know them, and showcase my talent which I had been hiding coz I didn't wanna be a laughing stalk. After a long time that feeling of emptiness has left my heart, and there was a completely new emotion which I can't describe in words. I could see and sense happiness and joy around, and it felt as though I also am capable of a lot of things.

Finally the tables have turned, and happiness has entered the story. 

There is this idiom, every cloud has a silver lining, and this year 2022 has taught me to believe in it. No matter how the year started, passed, but in the end I am finally happy doing what I always wanted to, times have evidently changed. 

The emotional roller coaster has finally come to a halt, and things are going on a good path right now.

Whoever is reading this, always remember one thing don't look back, you are not going that way!

Trust the timing of your life....

 April 11, 2022, a day that I can never forget, it was the day that changed everything for me.

The year 2022 has been highly challenging both on the personal front and in the education aspect. It was on this day that I realized that nothing can be achieved easily. 

April was supposed to be a great month for my family as it was when my cousin's wedding was supposed to happen, and after 7 years I witnessed my whole family coming back together, it was a great time, we laughed, we spoke, we went out, and we tried to compensate the 7 years gap in our relationships. I had all my cousins around, but my mind was elsewhere, it was wandering somewhere far away from reality.

I spent the whole day sitting around everyone I loved. We laughed, sat together, recalled the sweet memories that we had treasured in our hearts, joked about each other, and clicked pictures family group pictures to be precise. It was turning out to be a wonderful day, being with everyone, made me extremely happy!

But this was going to change, the day began on a happy note, but did it end the same? No

It was the day I had to get my college allotment, and also the last day of reporting, I repeatedly checked my email for any communications from the college, but there were none. We went home late at night around 10pm, I decided to check the college website, and to my surprise and shock, I was allotted a seat, but I had also lost it as the reporting time was 6pm and it was already 10pm.

We made a few calls and tried to check if anything could be done, but no use, there was nothing that we could have done at this point of time. 

I felt my whole world crumbling, and a huge block of sorrow and anxiety hit me, there was this feeling of being worthless, and I felt like everything was over. It broke me completely, I thought I'll never be the same again.

I had no option, but to attempt the exam again, I always wanted to be a doctor, and not do anything else but  MBBS, and for that, I had just 80 days in my hands to prepare, but I wasn't able to digest the truth, it felt like I would be wasting another year, there was also a question of what if something goes wrong again, what if I score worse, and then I won't be any options left.

 For a second all I wanted was to leave everything and run away from reality, it felt like everything was over, and for someone who has an issue of overthinking, it was worse.

I wasn't able to sleep that night, and the next day I decided that I won't be attending the wedding, I felt people will mock me for being a failure, I felt like a looser, and all my friends were happy in life, got whatever they wanted, and here I was sitting alone having nothing to do but repeat the exam. 

Later that day, my cousins sensed that there was something wrong that I hadn't shared, they tried asking me what the problem was, and after a while, everyone knew everything had happened, I got a hug from them, and they encouraged me to prepare for the exam again, and give it my best without thinking about anything else.

Honestly, no matter how difficult times are, having supportive people around makes a huge difference, this was exactly what happened to me!

I was finally ready without any self-doubt!

I realized it's true that some beautiful paths can't be discovered without getting lost!

There was chaos, self-doubt, sorrow, and a feeling of being a failure, but I managed to push it aside, and give my best!!

                                                 

  

The Big Day!

When you read the title, everyone thinks about different days in their life that changed them as a person, or that changed their life in some way. 

But here because this is a blog related to medical aspirants and future medicos, I'll be describing the one common day we all have, the day for which we have been preparing for months, ignored meetups, forgot our hobbies, and for which we fought through all odds, the day of our final NEET UG exam, post which everything changes.

Here I'll be describing my personal experience in brief about my NEET UG 2022 exam, and giving a general idea about the exam day.

On the exam day,

July 17, 2022, was the day of my NEET UG exam. For many people, this was a normal day with no major events, but for me, it was the day on which my career, and future depended.

It was a positive start, having had a proper amount of sleep, I was ready to leave for my center and perform my best. I freshened up, and my parents, family, and friends wished me luck.

The exam begins at 2 pm and goes on until 5:20pm, but we are expected to be there a few hours prior, the time is mentioned in our admit cards, and there is a particular dress code that should be followed under any circumstances.

My exam center was quite far from my house, so my parents and I decided to leave early, and take lunch with us. I reached the venue much before my reporting time.

I had carried a few mind maps, and my NCERT biology textbook with me, thinking I'll just glance through the important topics before entering the hall, but I didn't do the glancing work as I thought it'll give unnecessary stress that won't help me in any way.

After having lunch, they started allowing all the students to enter the hall as it was reporting time, I too entered, they had put our room numbers on a board, but before that, we must go through security checks like frisking, get our documents checked, etc.

My seat was on the last bench, and my bench mate was another guy, for whom this was his first attempt, we had a small conversation, and later I decided to recall physics formulas and organic chemistry reactions.

They gave us our question booklets which contained our omr sheets, after verifying the serial numbers on both, we proceeded to answer our paper.

It was a brilliant paper, I put my heart and soul into the paper, and ended up giving my best. Just like that 3hrs 20mins were over, I submitted my omr sheet and headed out of the room filled with joy.

I was one of the first people to come out of the building, as soon as the watchman opened the gates, all the parents started clapping and cheering for us as though we emerged victorious in a war!!

My father was waiting for me, I looked into his eyes and told him I was victorious that day, the happy look in his eyes was the best thing I saw the whole day!!

This day became one of the best days in my life, and will remain so forever!

Main highlights of the day,

The claps we received after coming out, the sigh of relief on my parents' and my face, the personal satisfaction I had, and the happiness our all of us that day! 

 

One major lesson I learned that day, was that it is never impossible to achieve what we want if we put our heart and soul into it!

A world beyond Reality

Dreams are far from reality, but not fantasy!

All of us have a world of our own when we dream, today I want to discuss a dream in which I am the master of my own life.

Being a future medico, I have visited many colleges and watched videos of different college campuses.

The most common dream any medico gets will be of them wearing an apron, and holding the stethoscope around their neck, mine was no different.

The Dream

It was a big day, I had to get my allotment that afternoon. I was both excited and nervous, my stomach was tied in knots.

I freshened up, had breakfast with great difficulty, and was hopeful that I'll finally join a medical college and take my first step toward being a doctor.

Finally, the allotment came, and I was allotted a seat in my favorite college, IGMC Shimla!! 

I jumped from my chair completely filled with joy and tears in my eyes, I announced to my family that I had finally got into my dream college, everyone was excited to hear the news and we all decided to celebrate.

I called my cousins, uncles, and aunts, and asked them to come over and hear the news in person, finally, everyone arrived, I gave them sweets and told them that I got a seat in my dream college IGMC!! 

I was jumping with excitement when I revealed the reason behind calling them home.

Everyone was excited to hear this, we had a big family hug and spent a lot of time discussing when will I be going to college to complete my admission formalities, what to buy, what sort of hostel room I'll be choosing, and what all I've planned to do in Shimla.

Finally, they all left, I started arranging the documents which I had to take for completing the formalities, booked a flight ticket, and finally left my house.

After completing the admission procedures, I chose the hostel room and went around Shimla to enjoy the beauty of the mountains.

A few days later college classes began, I had shifted to my hostel, and they announced the date of our White Coat ceremony! 

And the day had arrived, my White Coat ceremony began, I was called upon the aisle along with my batchmates, and my Anatomy professor handed me my Apron.

I was filled with joy and had tears in my eyes, saw that my family was proud of me!

Finally, I woke up, and the dream had ended, but that adrenaline rush can never be forgotten, the experience was unforgettable!!

The wait!

Waiting for something we want desperately is not where we humans shine, the same goes for us NEET aspirants.

Writing the exam and waiting for the results is one thing, but the period between the announcement of results, and the commencement of counseling is the worst we have to handle. 

For me, this was no different. I had a lot of plans regarding what I wanted to do post my exam, I had planned on joining an NGO, volunteering somewhere, going on trips, doing research on some exciting topics, and much more. But the truth is that I did none of the abovementioned stuff. 

This period of wait is filled with doubts, moments of joy, us watching random college campus videos, talking with friends and family about different campuses, the events those colleges have, their infrastructure, the name they have made in the past, and the amount of excitement we have when we discuss all these is a whole new side of ours which no one has ever seen.

These few months of wait have had a significant impact on my life. These months have got me to realize that I am done with holidays, I literally started feeling old sitting jobless at home, having nothing to do but paint, sketch, and talk to friends and family. 

People usually are eager for holidays, chilling at home, binge-watching series, and movies, reading books, and sleeping late, but ask me all these get extremely boring after a while, you'll have no interesting series to watch, nothing fun to read.

But still, these few months are once-in-a-lifetime chances we get, we'll have nothing to do but just relax.

The harsh truth is waiting for an allotment is never easy, there is always a doubt in the corner of our minds.

For me, it has been like I have visited a lot of colleges, spoken to a lot of seniors, and interacted with so many people, and all this has motivated me to continue this journey of joining MBBS. 

Now the time is here when we future medicos will finally get our allotment and the wait is over, but a few of us still need to wait, trust me in the end it will be worth the wait.

All the best to all the future medicos reading this!

The stress

Mental health has been a very important topic of discussion over the past few years. It is very important to consider physical, psychological, and social wellbeing by every individual.

According to the WHO stress is defined as any type of change that causes physical, emotional, or psychological strain. But how many of us really end up understanding this meaning? Not a great number.

                                              

In a student's life stress is a part of our daily routine, we can for once stay  without laughing or eating but can not spend a single day without stressing about something or the other. 

As a  NEET aspirant my tension was related to my subjects and on how to complete the major stuff, it used to always be like I want to complete chemistry, but I can score more in zoology so need to focus on that, physics was always a weak spot and needed constant attention. 

Having all this in mind I started my preparation, but then something unexpected happened, it was the PANDEMIC.

The pandemic made me lazy, and a little careless about the things I had to give the most of my attention, everything was so uncertain that I lost my focus, forgot wat my priorities were, decided to sit and dream about joining one of the best colleges in the country, wearing the Apron with pride, and holding my first ever stethoscope. These dreams occupied most of my time. I sat in front of the books to study but ended up dreaming more than studying efficiently.

I had this realization when the big day came close, and thus I ended up with sleepless nights, terrifying dreams, anxiety attacks became more often. But I didn't quit.

On the big day, I was terrified, stressed out, kept asking myself was I ready to attend the exam, my whole future depended on that single day. I entered the exam hall stressed and sick, both of which ruined my paper.

It was not what I expected from myself, but as its said whatever happens happens for the best.

I can happily say that I fought through my journey, and succeeded the second time.

People think being a student is an easy thing, all you have to do it study and you have no other thing to worry about, but trust me the mental situation of a student is extremely messed up.

Few things can not be learnt easily, only struggle and failures teach them to us, and those lessons are the most valuable lessons that anyone can learn.

In a NEET aspirant's life stress, tension, failure, self doubt, pressure, and anxiety are very common, but these are what makes us stronger.

Here I am today, satisfied with myself, my performance, and the lessons I learnt.

Always remember to chase your dreams at any cost, and not quit in between.