April 11, 2022, a day that I can never forget, it was the day that changed everything for me.
The year 2022 has been highly challenging both on the personal front and in the education aspect. It was on this day that I realized that nothing can be achieved easily.
April was supposed to be a great month for my family as it was when my cousin's wedding was supposed to happen, and after 7 years I witnessed my whole family coming back together, it was a great time, we laughed, we spoke, we went out, and we tried to compensate the 7 years gap in our relationships. I had all my cousins around, but my mind was elsewhere, it was wandering somewhere far away from reality.
I spent the whole day sitting around everyone I loved. We laughed, sat together, recalled the sweet memories that we had treasured in our hearts, joked about each other, and clicked pictures family group pictures to be precise. It was turning out to be a wonderful day, being with everyone, made me extremely happy!
But this was going to change, the day began on a happy note, but did it end the same? No
It was the day I had to get my college allotment, and also the last day of reporting, I repeatedly checked my email for any communications from the college, but there were none. We went home late at night around 10pm, I decided to check the college website, and to my surprise and shock, I was allotted a seat, but I had also lost it as the reporting time was 6pm and it was already 10pm.
We made a few calls and tried to check if anything could be done, but no use, there was nothing that we could have done at this point of time.
I felt my whole world crumbling, and a huge block of sorrow and anxiety hit me, there was this feeling of being worthless, and I felt like everything was over. It broke me completely, I thought I'll never be the same again.
I had no option, but to attempt the exam again, I always wanted to be a doctor, and not do anything else but MBBS, and for that, I had just 80 days in my hands to prepare, but I wasn't able to digest the truth, it felt like I would be wasting another year, there was also a question of what if something goes wrong again, what if I score worse, and then I won't be any options left.
For a second all I wanted was to leave everything and run away from reality, it felt like everything was over, and for someone who has an issue of overthinking, it was worse.
I wasn't able to sleep that night, and the next day I decided that I won't be attending the wedding, I felt people will mock me for being a failure, I felt like a looser, and all my friends were happy in life, got whatever they wanted, and here I was sitting alone having nothing to do but repeat the exam.
Later that day, my cousins sensed that there was something wrong that I hadn't shared, they tried asking me what the problem was, and after a while, everyone knew everything had happened, I got a hug from them, and they encouraged me to prepare for the exam again, and give it my best without thinking about anything else.
Honestly, no matter how difficult times are, having supportive people around makes a huge difference, this was exactly what happened to me!
I was finally ready without any self-doubt!
I realized it's true that some beautiful paths can't be discovered without getting lost!
There was chaos, self-doubt, sorrow, and a feeling of being a failure, but I managed to push it aside, and give my best!!
No comments:
Post a Comment